Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just invented taco cereal.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
