around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
