She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
