he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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