I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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