when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
why do cheetos always look like penises
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I can feel your judgement through the phone
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
