We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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