I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My dick has a subreddit
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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