Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
