I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
zippers are such a cool invention
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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