This is not my ceiling
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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