Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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