I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
