Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
