Where is the hickey?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
