I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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