turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
