oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
