Sponge bath it is.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You need Xanax blowdarts
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
