I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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