We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think I died a long time ago.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
