quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
