what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
