I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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