what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
whose ass print is on the piano?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
