He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize