69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
