Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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