its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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