Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
