I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Will you blow on my dice?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Randomize
