What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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