She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
