About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
