your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i came on her dog
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
