i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
