But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
