I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
