Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
