We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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