This girl is more easily done than said...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
