were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
