I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
