even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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