The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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