I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
