Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
