you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
