Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
