we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
