She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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