I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
