New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
