I hate your face
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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