Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
