What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
