Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
we should paint friendship bongs
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize