some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
