between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize