I love black thongs
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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