My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
