You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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