yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
