We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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