so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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