She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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