pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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